Tempus Fugit

Time Flies…

   Jun 22

I have no underwear today….

The strangest thing happened this morning…. I woke up to find that there were a thousand monkies eating my underwear.

Now feeding a thousand simian epicureans with my feeble collection of undergarments is no mean feat. Obviously there had to be other ingredients added to bulk up the quantity and improve the otherwise bland flavour.

I think the most popular dish on the menu was CK boxers with a rhubarb and raspberry coulis with a side dish of waffles, maple syrup and scalded cream.

One can only wonder what karma god I pissed off to be dealt the wrath of such an odd occurrence. If I knew what it was I know that I would be emphatically sorry for what I did. Maybe it was something I inadvertently did or didn’t do and didn’t realise the importance of my actions. It’s amazing how clueless one can be sometimes. It’s particularly bad when you’re trying to navigate through uncharted territory and you’re oblivious to potential dangers because you simply don’t know to look for them. Oh for a few obvious signposts for the right direction to take.

Attempting to find out more, I spoke to the chief monkey who explained that they had been hired through an anonymous intermediary and paid in bananas. All that they were told was that there needed to be a gastronomical feast (The Inauguaral “Devouring Your Jocks” (DYJ) Banquet that was to occur at the earliest possible convenience.

I will have to swing in the breeze for the next while until I can afford to replenish stocks…..reminds me of a song that has been annoyingly circulating around my head lately…

I’m not wearing underwear today,
No im not wearing underwear today
Not that you probably care
Much about my underwear
Still none the less i gotta say
That im not wearing underwear today

I suppose the most annoying thing out of this whole affair is that the house smells of a thousand monkies and there are lots of dishes to be done (apparently the monkey chefs are used to catering in the jungle and don’t as a general rule hire dishpigs to clean up).

Just goes to show that karma works in many weird and mysterious ways but eventually it will come and bite you on the arse if you do the wrong thing.

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One Comment

  1. says:

    tee hee hee….
    it’s spelt MONKEYS not MONKIES, but i’ll let that slide :P **Moderator’s note: both spellings are acceptable according to the OED**

    amusing. interesting. *reading lots into it that revolve around monkeys and underwear…oh, wait, it was…nevermind*

    yeah. karma’s a bitch and then you’ve gota shop for new jocks.

    Damn You Jeremy!

    til next….

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