Tempus Fugit

Time Flies…

   Jul 28

Bouncing Baby Booners

You know you are in the booners when a kangaroo hops across the road when you are coming home from uni at 4am (yes…that’s AM).

You know you’re in the booners when the expectant father’s mother is apparently drunk and potentially doped out in the delivery room

You know you’re in the booners when there are baby names like Britney, Chaunteese and other horrific double barrelled combinations that are beyond mention.

You know you’re in the booners when teenage mothers come in to have their second or third child (and the child being born has a three month old aunt).

…nuff said about that…

Midwives are funny creatures. Midwives on night-duty are fun to spend time with. It is possible to ballroom dance in the birthing suite. There are as many positions to have a baby as there are positions to MAKE a baby.

Placentas and umbilical cords are a work of art.

Battledore and Moxibustion are the words of the day.

I now know what a Cardio-Toco-Gram (CTG) is.

The birthing process is a beautiful thing to watch (in spite of its grotesqueness)…and the look on the new parents’ faces fills me with a warm gushy feeling…(no I have not become incontinent…though the birthing mother often is). I can’t explain why I feel the way I do when I see a cute widdle bebbe born (borderline clucky for fuck’s sake)…but I do. Which is really out of character for the cynical bastard I am.

Obs and gobs is really not as bad as I thought it would be. Dealing with healthy people spawning little healthy people is much funnerer than crumbly old people (GOMERS) who would be better off dead (but aren’t) and young dying people (who die in spite of your attempts to save them). [Go read the 'House of God' by Samuel Shem if you haven't already....and if you're a med person....why HAVEN'T you read H.o.G. yet?]

Have managed to be filmed and photographed several times in the last few days….once when yoinking a bebbe out of it’s mother, and again when I was assisting on a Caesarian, holding open an abdomen as the obstetrician held the screaming bundle of joy up so that the parental papparazzi could ‘coo and ahhh’ and take happy snaps of the occasion.

…in other news…

It’s odd living in one of those new housing estate communities…it’s a cross between ‘The Stepford Wives’ and ‘Desperate Houswives’. I had the experience of taking the dog to the dog park today…which is apparently a social event….both for the dogs and their owners….who….doing this daily….develop quite a close relationship with each other. There was much butt sniffing to be had (by the dogs, not their owners). I thinks I should get me a dog…so I can go and meet some other single female doggy owners.

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2 Comments

  1. Kitsunegari says:

    There is a Canadian film from a few years ago about dog park relationships. It has Jeneane Garofolo and Luke Wilson in it, and is called (ironically enough) Dog Park. I thought it was quite good. Its kinda like a romanticky sorta chick flick, but not bad otherwise. Check it out before you do the dog park trowling thing, it’s like research. And you get to watch a movie too :)

    til next….
    ~Kits~

  2. Kym says:

    Wow. Babies.

    Go with the watching movie thing – not that I have seen it, but I like Luke Wilson and have been told I look like Jeneane Garofalo.

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