Tempus Fugit

Time Flies…

   Feb 09

For Whom The Bell Tolls

Dead eyes are freaky.

Not sure why – have seen heaps of dead people. Have assisted in failed
arrests previously. Old people die regularly.

But the dilated pupils of the guy who arrested last night keep haunting me.

I’m not sure if it was a combination of the slowly cyanosing face and the
pupils or if it was just the piercingly wide pupils on their own but every
time I close my eyes I see them. and it’s as though they are somehow
sucking my soul from me as I see them in my mind’s eye.

I should never have looked into them when I was intubating. It feels almost
as if they are cavernous black holes that connect the living world to the
underworld.

I should stop being so melodramatic. Better to go out in VF->PEA->Asystole
arrest than a painful slow respiratory arrest drowning in a pool of your own
secretions or a widespread metastatic illness. One minute you’re eating
dinner…next minute you’re not.

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